The Aftermath - Annie McFarland

I mentioned on a live a few weeks ago about some unappreciated flowers that I received. I thought I was getting flowers from DC, instead they were from some rando from FB dating that clearly stalked my ass and found out where I lived in order to surprise me with flowers. Look. . . I am an only parent. . . if I want you to know where I live, then I’ll tell you. . only if I WANT you to know. Otherwise, that is just freakin creepy! 

I have been over analyzing that moment for weeks. Did I lead him on? Did I make him believe that there was more of a possibility than there actually was? I thought I was doing the right thing, the mature thing when I sent him a text saying it was nice ‘meeting’ him but I was just too busy to date. I guess that was too much for him and he last ditched it with the flowers. . .which came off as. . . uh. . . no! It forced to me think back on other post break up dating moments that made me feel. . . something. 


There was the after break-up drive by from an ex that created an awkward moment. I was in the front yard, walking my dogs, he drove by, eye contact was made followed by that moment when you could see his wheels spinning, does he stop to talk to me or does he keep driving because we both know he was doing a drive by. Which would be less embarrassing and awkward? Decision was made, he stopped but it took him a long time to make the decision so he ended up too far down the road and had to back up while I stood there, watching and laughing on the inside. . . maybe a slight chuckle on the outside.

Or there was the ex that showed up at my house and left an envelope on my car filled with pictures of us from our happier times. Funny that he didn’t include any mementos from when he was a generally shitty person and tried to control every single freaking thing I did. Hmmmmm. . . did he think that somehow I would see a pic of us smiling and happy and forget all his bullshit? Uh no. And if we are being completely honest here, most of those pics of me smiling were moments when I plastered on the fake smile just to get through that relationship. We’ve heard that a woman leaves a relationship, mentally, LONG before she leaves physically. Ain’t that the fucking truth?!?!?! 

After trying to communicate that his behavior towards me was not healthy.. After begging him to believe me that I am not a person who would cheat on him.. After crying out of frustration about feeling bad about myself.. After having to second guess everything I did, deciding whether I thought it would start a fight..

I was done. 

I was still in the relationship but I was checked out. The day that he left for good, the day we were officially over was not a sad day for me. In fact, it was a great day for me. I was free! I was not walking on eggshells anymore. I had already processed the loss. . . I was done. 
Those “happy time” pics on my car that were meant to make me feel nostalgic about our lost love made me feel nothing but annoyed that he actually stepped foot on my property. 


Dating is supposed to be fun and it’s supposed to be romantic but all too often dating gets murky and annoying. At the end of the day. . . I am still a hopeless romantic and I just know it will finally happen for me! 

-   Annie


  • Tonya

    Oh, Annie… im so glad You two was on my Fyp.Love Your creative minds and how SWEET,BUBBLY and both seem. Thank you for opening up and telling a honest, funny stories. Cant wait to get my SHOP on in ur store.
    Have a Happy Blessed 2021. P.s. The right one will show up when you least expect it. ( but, not at your house ) lol lol

  • Heidi-lyn Morse

    I totally agree. I check out, put up my walls again, nice and high, and just start packing up all my emotions that have been stepped on, neglected, and taken for granted. Then when that is all finished, then they want me back because I was the best thing that ever happened to them. Duh, no shit dick head. Too late now. I have a very large amount of patience and tolerance but once you hit the switch, I’m done…for good. There’s been only one time when I took the person back and I am now married and soon to be divorced after trying to make it work for 7 years and moving out a year and a half ago. But again, I’m done, and he now sees how wonderful I am. What is wrong with these men? I am always asking, “Am I just too nice? Should I just be a bitch?” Because I look around and the bitches are the ones with husbands. I don’t know. I do know my cats are always here for me waiting at the door, snuggling me, and meowing me how much they love me. For me, it’s more than enough for now. I will move on and be happy like I was before I changed my mind and got married after 25 years of total independence. That’s what’s wrong with me, I don’t want someone telling me what I should do with my life or where to hang the fucking towel ring in the bathroom or the pictures on the wall. I have taken care of myself for so long, no one I’ve met can do it better. LOL

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