MALE INTERRUPTUS

Let me set the scene for you! Three fun girls are sitting at any bar, in any town, USA. They are chatting and filling the bar with laughter but not speaking loud enough for anyone to hear what they are finding so funny. Their energy has caught the attention of some of the single dudes sitting around the bar. Unfortunately for them, the three girls have been so zoned in on each other that they don’t even notice anyone else trying to catch their attention. You know this scene. . it’s girls night! That amazing time that girls take for themselves to hang with their favorite female people and pretend that their families aren’t at home waiting for them. The liquor-filled therapy sesh’s that keep us sane and allow us to go back to said families and not want to kill them. 
But let’s be honest, these moments are interrupted, sometimes ruined by something that happens during these girls-only happy hours, that is truly frightening. It happens all the time and I am simply shocked that it has not been addressed. It is so widespread that I wonder why we do not have a day to honor it. A parade through town to bring more awareness. A non-profit raising funds to research this troubling issue.
MALE INTERRUPTUS
Not all men are afflicted with this ailment. those men, not suffering from MALE INTERRUPTUS will realize that scoring eye contact with the girls has been unsuccessful. They will simply drink their drinks, chat with the bartender and wander home, alone with the memory of the girly laughter that filled the bar. 
BUT those, poor souls, suffering from MALE INTERRUPTUS, it doesn’t matter that the girls have shown zero interest in finding male attention. The male must make contact and must get creative in order to get the attention of the girls. 
The ‘lone wolf’, braver than the rest of the lonely dudes at the bar, makes a move, he prowls in closer. Maybe he slides over a few seats to sit right up next to the girls, in the hopes that he can work himself into the conversation. MALE INTERRUPTUS!
The ‘shy guy’ who he tells the bartender to send over a drink to force a response. The bartender brings the drink and gestures over to the ‘shy guy’ so the girls make eye contact, raise a glass and share a moment. MALE INTERRUPTUS!
The ‘funny guy’ who thinks his jokes and witty one liners would add perfectly to the already merry conversation that the girls are having. So, he waits for just the right moment to throw in a line, usually it’s a sexual innuendo or something naughty natured. That colorful comment causes the girls to give each other sideways glances before politely chuckling then resuming their private conversation. MALE INTERRUPTUS! 
The ‘bumper’ who “accidently” stumbles right by your chair causing him to “fall” against you which allows him to apologize. This is a rather advanced move of MALE INTERRUPTUS because it accomplishes two things. First, it opens up communication but secondly and far more importantly, it causes physical touch so you can feel the instant ‘electricity’ that runs between you two. How could you resist that chemistry? You must break away from your friends to spend time with him! *hopefully you read that with the dripping sarcasm that it was written with. 
MALE INTERRUPTUS!
How many of us have been victim to or witnessed this troubling condition? It runs rampant in every bar in the world so I know you are fully aware of what I am describing.
Now. . .before I start getting tagged as being cold, heartless or a man-hater. Know that I am none of those things. . .a girl, sometimes just wants to have a little time, with the girls and without MALE INTERRUPTUS! 
There are certainly occasions when girls night is all about being ‘on the hunt’ for some male attention. But those nights look very differently than the nights that are strictly for the ladies. To assist our gentleman readers. . .ya know. . .all three of you, and as a public service, I will lay it out there plainly, how to tell the difference. 
Girls, please let me know if I have missed any points.If the girls are looking around the bar and not focused on the girls sitting beside them. GO
If the girls are moving to multiple locations around the bar in order to see potential suitors. GO
If the girls are chatting with the people beside them. GO
If the girls are drawing the bartender into many of the conversations. GO
HOWEVER
If the girls are not looking anywhere but to their friends. STOP
If the girls set up camp in a corner of the bar and don’t leave it. STOP
If the girls don’t seem to be aware of anything but what is happening right in front of them. STOP! When a male watches closely, it should be fairly clear as to which group of girls are a GO and which group is a hard STOP! But, as we all know, the males love a good challenge. They love the hunt so they are inexplicably drawn to the group that is showing no signs of allowing interlopers in.
Perhaps by writing this out, I am opening up the conversation. I want to remove the stigma of MALE INTERRUPTUS and allow it to be talked about, openly! 

- Annie